In these parts, the moment you tell your folks you have accepted someone's marriage proposal, the very next question is: 'Where is he from?' Nigeria is so multi-ethnic that getting married to someone from the same state doesn't exactly mean you are getting married to one of your own. However, that could be more tolerable than another state entirely. We have very crazy and unimaginable ideas about each group and it's terrible to note that, this ideas worsen when it involves groups that share states with us. So the girl's parents say a big NO because the men from that region are flirts, while the man's parents say NEVER because the women from that region boss their husbands (trust me some reasons are so unreasonable, these were the most reasonable ones I could pick for examples).
I cannot even begin to imagine the drama involved when one of them isn't Nigerian. I think the drama spirals down very chaotic scenes when this said non-nigerian dares to be 'white-skinned'. I remember once, I was in a car when a friend of mine was telling her mum about our friend who happens to be an indigene of her tribe. So the gist got to the point where she got married to an Asian, the mother just turned and looked at her daughter, shook her head in sadness and then said "eow! dat one don loss, hmmmm". This our friend still lives in this same country with her parents, the guy doesn't, so who is lost? but that was very typical so we just laughed it off.
Well, I am from a tribe called Oron in Akwa Ibom State, and I am married to a man from the Benin tribe in Edo state. It takes 6 hours (all conditions being equal) to travel to or from the two states, and there are 4 states, a number of towns and villages which I have never taken time to count and maybe 5 to 6 bodies of water (I really think there are more) between them. So I really did an INTER-TRIBAL marriage. The beauty however is, that my people and his people just wanted God-fearing spouses for their children and so didn't exactly care if we came from the moon. They just took turns to advise us to learn to cope with each other knowing we were from different parts, and as such shouldn't expect too much. Thanks to civilization and the God factor, a lot of the drama involved with inter-tribal marriages are reducing, my prayer is that it comes to a zero level, AMEN. Let's hear your inter-tribal or inter-racial experience or that of someone close.
the misconceptions people have about particular tribe is a serious concern. Babe Imagin some uncles refusing that ITU is close to Calabar, therefore their niece can nt marry frm there, bcos men in Calabar are Lazy and too relax to huzzle.
ReplyDeleteOkay, that's like the craziest I have heard so far. There is a big body of water separating them, how close can they be and how relaxed is Edem Duke, that Ekondo bank guy and a host of others I cant mention here. It is well my dear.
DeleteMy Sis Udeme is married to a guy from Edo, My brother's wife to be (in few months time) is from Edo too. I know a number of inter-tribal marriages between Akwa Ibomites n Edosians. Could this be a move of the spirit? Lol. Congratulations Edak!
ReplyDeleteSerzly I av noin against inter-tribal marriage,but,my God I started laffin d minute I saw d white guy n black girl trad attire.
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