STUDENT MUM

Hello everyone! You know that feeling you get when you have to say sorry over and over again, just because you keep falling into the same error? well, that's my fate right now. I'm tired of saying sorry here and disappearing still for months. I'm sure most of you have given up on me... please don't. I really pray I don't have to give this speech again, I'm here now with plenty gist as well.

I've been really busy partly because, yours truly went back to school (courtesy my beloved). It hasn't been easy on me at all. I had a couple of school mates during my undergraduate days who were mothers to children. Looking back now, I honestly have no idea how they managed that. One son for me, and it's been very challenging. Just rounded up my first semester exams and preparing for that exams with Jay was like carrying out a full blown research... Like discovering the source of a very deadly epidemic somewhere in Antarctica. I have never been so drained academically, emotionally and even physically! However, I learned something; God has created human beings heroes and went ahead to put super in front of the heroes for women. The problem we have is the problem of the soldier who doesn't go to war while his colleagues go or the athlete who just chills at home when he's supposed to be at the Olympics or the freedom fighter who crawls into his shell to avoid being arrested. The heroes in us gets as far as we let it. The soldier who is adjudged an hero fought a battle, if he didn't he wouldn't win.

Once you rise up to any challenge, that hero just rises along with you. I am one person you can categorically say hates stress, I really wondered how I was going to cope but my husband gave more than enough reasons why I should give it a try and now, slowly but surely it's becoming a reality. Please share your coping mechanisms as a student mum, if you are one, you might just be saving someone.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy new year my people and welcome to this beautiful year. How did you spend your new year eve? Well for me, as is customary, I spent mine in Church. It is amazing how a lot of people spend theirs especially in the town where I live. I had cause to step out of Church around 11.30pm that day to rock Jay (his sleep mode is usually preceded by crying then wailing if nothing is done) and what I saw was surprising. The crowd outside was almost same with those inside and more strange faces kept trooping in. Most of these people were drenched in alcohol so much so that it was difficult to breathe around them. The moment it was 12 midnight, they were the first to start shouting even before the Rev made the new year announcement. I later got to know that these people just wanted to enter the new year in Church, it didn't matter how drunk they were or if they were returning to  a brothel after the service.

 After the service, came the loud fireworks popularly known as 'knockout'. These loud sounds continued till 4am. Jay startled all the way home because we had to drive in the midst of different explosive sounds coming from the fireworks. The sad part is that it didn't matter where they fired them, infact the main road was the  target with all the cars driving through. Those things are quite dangerous and were meant to be shot at designated grounds such that the safety of lives and property are ensured not on the roads or within residential premises as was done here. Well, my husband says they've had their fair share of accidents arising from this wrong practises some of which needed a couple of surgeries to correct. Obviously, that hasn't deterred too many people, no, not with what I saw yesterday.

PREGNANCY

I promised to dedicate my next post to pregnancy, so this is it! When you get married, especially in this part of the world, everyone expects to hear the cry of a baby in nine months time. In fact, that topic rules most of the prayers for the marriage. However, nobody exactly prepares you for what you are going to face in order for those prayers to be answered.

Being pregnant for the first time, you are introduced to a different world altogether. This new world is governed by endless set of laws. Some of which you will have to learn to obey such as avoiding some drugs,strenuous exercise etc. Others you are forced to obey and you can't help yourself such as annoying cravings for particular meals, and complete dislike for some other meals. From the terrible smell that plagues you, mettalic taste, morning sickness, night sickness for some others, nausea, loss of appetite, crazy appetite to eat for some others, among many symptoms in first trimester (as far as I am concerned, that is the craziest trimester for a first time mum) to the more stable second trimester and finally to the third trimester characterised by real tiredness even to breath. I haven't mentioned the weight gain which had people go from 'you've put on some weight', 'you look really healthy', 'you're glowing', in first trimester to "fine woman" in third trimester because of how really "fine" your face especially your nose have become.

One thing pregnancy taught me is: Motherhood is sacrifice and it begins the day you get pregnant. A lot of sacrifice goes into being and staying pregnant, it just keeps getting bigger at birth and the years that follow.
Throughout out the period of being pregnant, I saw my mum in a different light, and now I have learned to appreciate her more. Like our soldiers who we regard as heroes, because they sacrifice their comfort and many times their lives, and many make it out with battle scars, every mother is a hero!

IT'S A BOY!

JOHN OSAMUDIAMEN OMOIKE

Let me start by apologising for being AWOL for so long. I've been busy being pregnant and nursing thereafter. Not a good reason I guess, but that was it until a burglar broke into my house and left with my laptop among other things, then I just had to wait to replace it. Today, I decided that I couldn't keep waiting so I rose to the challenge of using Hubby's tab(not exactly used to all these modern stuffs). I must say wasn't that bad.

Back to the main gist, on the 19th of August, yours truly's status changed from new wife to new mother of a handsome baby boy. I'm really grateful to God for his mercies and grace through that interesting journey. On that note, I want to dedicate the next set of posts to pregnancy and birth and I would love to hear your stories especially first timers.

Once again, congrats to me!

BEEN A WHILE

Wow! it's been a whiiiiile. I have had my hands full and I promise to keep you all posted on what these things were with time. I am back hopefully for good. So much to write about but not today. Today I chose to just say hello to my people, how una dey?

HE HITS ME BUT I HAVE TO STAY

I've had cause to do a lot of thinking over the years about wife battering and I have made my conclusions based on some of the real life examples I saw and heard. These conclusions have remained with me for a while and I have shared them with a few people. Today, I choose to share this because of a particular case that had remained on the airwaves and print media since 2011. Last week, a verdict was given and the accused was sentenced to death by hanging. After watching his response to the verdict, I told myself that my conclusions were right after all. Again and again, these things have the same pattern, why then do we choose to remain in it?

This is my conclusion: A wife who is being battered by her husband shouldn't let it happen twice. She should leave. Leaving doesn't mean the marriage has ended, just leave that house, relocate, go somewhere else. A man who is violent has demons temporarily or permanently living in him. I can not understand why someone chooses to remain in the same house with so many demons. Leaving is for his own good too because it might make him sober enough to genuinely seek help from God. Secondly, you will save him from committing murder by leaving. If you do not leave, He will kill you unintentionally, or you will kill him in self defense unintentionally or he will throw a very pregnant you down the stairs, you will miscarry so you would have lost a child.
If he kills you, and it is proven that he had ever battered you before that day, the law says it was intentional, thus he will die by hanging. If you kill him, the law will charge you manslaughter, then you can very well spend the rest of your days in prison waiting and praying for one governor to come and offer pardon to some prisoners. Some women have become prayer points in the area of child bearing because of being battered while pregnant and are holding unto God for a miracle because the natural way has been destroyed.
A lot of women say that they stay because of their children, I say to them those children wont appreciate that when they become orphans because he killed you, or when they have to live with the knowledge of their mum in prison for killing their dad, or when our airwaves will be parading either of you for murder and they have to face their friends. Please leave that place for a while.

THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART.

There is a popular saying: ''the way to a man's heart is through his stomach''. How true is this statement? Well I have never doubted my husband's love for me. I know he loves me not necessarily because of food which by the way I cook well. However, the events of the last weekend inspired this post.